Don't Get Lost in the Sauce: A Tourist's Guide to Boston's (Relatively) Sketchy Streets
Ah, Boston! City of Beantown, Freedom Trail, and chowdah so good it'll knock your socks off (just try explaining that saying to a tourist from Arizona). But even the most charming cities have their, ahem, "less glamorous" sides. So, before you pack your Red Sox cap (or Yankees hat, we don't judge) and hit the pavement, let's get you prepped to avoid the areas that might leave you feeling like a confused swan on a rotary (yes, those are a thing here).
Danger Zones: A whistlestop tour (with tongue firmly in cheek)
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- Central Square: Home of the Hipsters and the, uh, Slightly Less Hip. Central boasts amazing museums and a killer indie music scene. It's also where you might find yourself politely sidestepping someone explaining the philosophical underpinnings of artisanal pickle making. Just keep your head on a swivel and maybe avoid wearing your best cashmere sweater – spilled organic kale juice stains are a real possibility.
- The Back Bay: When Fancy Gets a Side of Fancy with a Chance of Fancy. Listen, the Back Bay is beautiful. Like, fall-down-and-weep-because-everything-is-so-perfectly-preserved beautiful. But it's also where a single latte can set you back the price of a plane ticket to Florida. So, admire the brownstones from afar, maybe grab a coffee (make it a large) in a different neighborhood, and channel your inner millionaire window shopper.
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| What Areas To Avoid In Boston |
Not-So-Dangerous, Just Not Your Scene
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- Dorchester: It's a Tale of Two Towns (and Great Vietnamese Food). Dorchester is a vast and vibrant neighborhood with a rich history. But some areas can feel a little rough around the edges. Still, it's got some of the best Vietnamese food in the city, so if you're feeling adventurous (and have a good sense of direction), you might just discover your new favorite spot.
Remember, these are just general guidelines. Boston is a walkable city, and most areas are perfectly safe during the day. Just use your common sense, be aware of your surroundings, and avoid rocking that fanny pack from 1993 (unless it's ironic, of course).
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How to Survive the Streets of Boston: A Crash Course
- How to navigate a rotary? Think it's a roundabout? Cute. Here's the gist: you yield to traffic already in the circle, no stopping, hope for the best, and pray you don't end up on the wrong side of the Mystic River.
- How to speak Bostonian? Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd. There, you've basically mastered the art.
- How to deal with the weather? Layers are your friend. One minute it's sunshine, the next it's a downpour that'll make you question your life choices.
- How to find the best chowdah? This is a matter of fierce local pride. Ask ten Bostonians, get eleven different answers. Just try a few and decide for yourself (chowdah wars are a spectator sport).
- How to avoid getting lost in the maze-like streets? Download a map, and don't be afraid to ask for directions. Bostonians may seem gruff, but they secretly love showing off their city.
So there you have it, folks! With a little preparation and a dash of humor, you're ready to conquer Boston's streets (and chowdah scene) like a champ. Safe travels!
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