Lord Baltimore: The OG Real Estate Mogul (Probably)
So, you've heard of Lord Baltimore, right? The guy who basically said, "Hey, England's a bit crowded. Let's go chill in America." Classic case of "grass is greener on the other side," but with a lot more paperwork involved.
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| What Did Lord Baltimore Do |
A Quick Bio (Or As Quick As We Can Make It)
Lord Baltimore, real name George Calvert, was basically a 17th-century power player. He was all about politics, religion, and, most importantly, making a quick buck (or, well, a slow, steady buck). The dude was a Catholic in a Protestant world, which, let's be honest, was like being a vegan at a steakhouse. So, he decided to go rogue and create his own little Catholic paradise in America. We're talking about Maryland here, folks.
The Maryland Hustle
Now, you might be thinking, "Maryland? Really? That's it?" Well, in the 17th century, it was basically the Wild West. And Lord Baltimore was the Clint Eastwood of colonizing. He secured a charter from the King (which, let's be honest, was probably just the King's way of getting rid of him), gathered up a bunch of settlers (mostly Catholics, but hey, everyone's welcome), and sailed off into the sunset.
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Or, you know, the Atlantic Ocean.
The Legacy
Lord Baltimore's legacy? Well, he's basically the reason Maryland exists. And let's be real, Maryland's pretty cool. Crabs, Old Bay, and the whole "charm" thing. Not to mention, he was a pioneer of religious tolerance. Sure, it was mostly for Catholics and Protestants, but hey, it was a start.
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So, next time you're enjoying a crab cake or watching the Ravens, take a moment to thank Lord Baltimore. The man was a visionary, even if his fashion sense was a bit questionable.
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How To Become The Next Lord Baltimore (Probably Not)
How to find a new colony?
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- Check your local classifieds. There might be a planet for sale.
How to get a charter from the King?
- Become royalty. Or, you know, try really hard to befriend one.
How to deal with religious differences?
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- Serve everyone crab cakes. It's a universal language.
How to avoid getting eaten by wild animals?
- Bring a really big dog. Or a really small army.
How to make your colony successful?
- Hire a good accountant. And maybe a reality TV producer.
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