When the Smog Clears: An LA Apocalypse (Maybe)
Los Angeles, the city of dreams, sunshine, and... well, let's be honest, a thick, gray blanket of smog. But what would happen if the impossible occurred? What if the smog actually, genuinely, lifted? Would angels descend, or would chaos ensue? Let's explore this hypothetical catastrophe.
What Happens When The Smog Lifts In Los Angeles California Joke |
The Great Reveal
Imagine waking up one morning in LA and actually seeing the Hollywood sign without squinting. It's like discovering a hidden continent. People would be scrambling for sunglasses, sunscreen, and a sudden, intense urge to touch grass. Or, you know, concrete, since that's mostly what LA is made of.
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A New World Order
With the smog gone, we might actually be able to see the stars at night. Astronomers would have a field day, but stargazers would be disappointed to find that celebrities are still more interesting to look at. Also, real estate prices in the hills would skyrocket. Who knew fresh air was such a luxury?
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The Psychological Toll
Years of smog have conditioned Angelenos to a certain aesthetic. Suddenly being able to see for more than five feet might induce a collective panic. Therapists would be booked solid with patients experiencing "clear sky anxiety." Support groups would pop up for people who miss the comforting embrace of the gray haze.
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The Economic Impact
Air filter companies would go bankrupt overnight. Sunglasses and sunscreen sales would explode. The tourism industry would boom as people flock to see the bizarre phenomenon of a clear sky in LA. And, of course, there would be a new reality TV show called "Smog-Free Survival."
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How to...
- How to survive the great LA smog lift: Invest in sunglasses, sunscreen, and a really good hat.
- How to cope with clear sky anxiety: Practice deep breathing and remind yourself that smog will probably return eventually.
- How to make money off the smog lifting: Start a sun tanning salon, a stargazing tour, or a reality TV show.
- How to protect your eyes from the sudden brightness: Sunglasses, people, sunglasses!
- How to avoid sunburn: Apply sunscreen liberally and reapply often. Trust us, your future skin will thank you.
So, there you have it. The potential consequences of a smog-free LA. It's a terrifying, wonderful, and completely absurd scenario. But hey, stranger things have happened.