Buckle Up, Blazers Fans: What if MJ Took His Talents to...Oregon?
We all know the story. 1984 Draft. Houston snags Hakeem Olajuwon, Portland whiffs with Sam Bowie, and the Chicago Bulls land a skinny kid from North Carolina named Michael Jordan. The rest, as they say, is history. But hold on a sec, what if that fateful night went a little differently?
Drexler & MJ: The Northwest Nightmare for Opponents
Imagine Clyde "The Glide" Drexler soaring through the lane with a dish from His Airness himself! The highlight reels would be legendary. Sure, some overlap at shooting guard might have caused Coach Ramsay some initial headaches, but picture the defensive dominance! Teams would be forced to pick their poison: MJ locking down their star player or Drexler contesting every shot. Opponents would need double the Pepto-Bismol, that's for sure.
Tip: Pause whenever something stands out.
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| What If Jordan Went To Portland |
Championship City: Portland?
QuickTip: Skim the first line of each paragraph.
The Blazers were already a force to be reckoned with in the late 80s and early 90s. Throw MJ into that mix, and championships might have become a yearly tradition in Rip City. We're talking parades so long they'd need a second marching band. Heck, maybe they'd build a statue for MJ holding a giant donut (you know, for all those championship rings).
Tip: Read actively — ask yourself questions as you go.
The Downside (Kind Of)
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Okay, okay, it wouldn't all be sunshine and slam dunks. The Bulls dynasty as we know it wouldn't exist. Scottie Pippen might be remembered as a decent player on a mediocre team (sorry, Scottie, we still love you!). And let's be honest, Chicago wouldn't have nearly as cool a nickname as "Rip City."
Tip: Stop when confused — clarity comes with patience.
So, Did Portland Screw Up?
Hindsight's 20/20, right? But hey, even without MJ, the Blazers were a fun team to watch. Besides, who knows if Jordan's competitive spirit would have thrived in the rainy Pacific Northwest? Maybe he would have spent his days perfecting his latte art instead of dropping 50 points on the Lakers.
How-To FAQs for the Alternate Timeline
- How to: Spot MJ rocking a lumberjack shirt? Easy! Just head to a Blazers game in the 90s.
- How to: Explain to your friends from Chicago that there's a parallel universe where Jordan's a Blazer? Patience is key. They might need a hug too.
- How to: Convince your boss to let you wear a Blazers jersey with Jordan's name on it to work? Confidence is everything. Just tell them it's "business casual from another dimension."
- How to: Deal with the existential dread of knowing this alternate MJ timeline might exist? Distract yourself with highlights of MJ's real-life greatness. It's a win-win!
- How to: Travel back in time and warn the Blazers to draft MJ? Unfortunately, that technology isn't here yet (unless you're Doc Brown, in which case, hit us up!).
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