The River Runs Through It...But Which One? A Not-So-Serious Guide to Milwaukee's Waterways
Ah, Milwaukee! City of festivals, cheese curds, and...well, rivers? Maybe rivers aren't the first thing that pops into your head when you think of Milwaukee, but trust me, those watery highways played a big role in the city's history and offer some present-day fun too. But here's the thing, Milwaukee isn't exactly a one-river town. Buckle up, because we're about to take a hilarious (okay, maybe slightly educational) dive into the aquatic arteries of Milwaukee.
The Grandaddy of Milwaukee Rivers: The Mighty Milwaukee
Let's start with the big cheese, the OG, the Milwaukee River. This 100-mile-long beauty winds its way from Fond du Lac County all the way down to Lake Michigan, giving Milwaukee a good ol' fashioned riverfront. Back in the day, this river was the heart of Milwaukee's industry, but these days it's more about kayaking, fishing, and enjoying the scenery (and maybe dodging the occasional rogue cheese curd launched from a passing boat). Fun fact: The Milwaukee River actually cuts through downtown Milwaukee, creating a natural east side-west side divide. So next time you're arguing about the best deep-dish pizza place (spoiler alert: they're all good), you can blame it on geography (or the river).
Tip: Highlight what feels important.
The Little Brother: The Kinnickinnic River
Now, the Milwaukee River might be the star of the show, but it has a little brother, the Kinnickinnic River. This smaller guy clocks in at a mere 33 miles and flows entirely within the city limits. Don't let its size fool you though, the Kinnickinnic played a vital role in Milwaukee's early development. These days, the Kinnickinnic is undergoing a bit of a makeover, with plans for habitat restoration and whatnot. Just be warned, this little river has a bit of an industrial past, so maybe don't go for a refreshing dip (unless you're into that sort of thing, no judgment here).
QuickTip: Focus more on the ‘how’ than the ‘what’.
 |
| What River Is In Milwaukee |
So, Which River is it Then?
Honestly, it depends on where you are in Milwaukee! But fear not, fellow traveler, unless you're spelunking through Milwaukee's sewer system, you're highly likely to bump into the mighty Milwaukee River.
Important Side Note: There may or may not be rumors of a third, super-secret river running under the city streets. We're not saying it's true, we're not saying it's not true. We're just saying, maybe keep an eye out for sewer grates that look a little too friendly.
QuickTip: Don’t rush through examples.
 |
Now You Know (Almost) Everything About Milwaukee's Rivers!
Okay, maybe we haven't covered everything, but hey, you're now equipped with the most important Milwaukee river knowledge a casual visitor needs. Now get out there and explore those waterways (safely, of course)!
FAQ: Milwaukee River Adventures Await!
How to get on the Milwaukee River? - Rental kayaks and boat tours are your best bet!
QuickTip: Read actively, not passively.
How to fish in the Milwaukee River? - Grab a license, find a spot, and cast your line! (Just remember, catch and release is always a good idea).
How to walk along the Milwaukee River? - The Riverwalk is your friend! It's a paved path that stretches for miles along the riverfront.
How to avoid falling in the Milwaukee River? - Probably a good idea to stay on the boat/shore.
How to appreciate the Milwaukee River? - Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the view! Maybe even reminisce about Milwaukee's industrial past (or dream about future underwater cities, no judgment here).
 |
