Cubs, Crumbs, and Conundrums
Who Needs a Therapist When You've Got the Cubs?
Let's talk about the Chicago Cubs, shall we? Because why not? It's like discussing the weather, but with more cursing and hope. If you're a Cubs fan, you're probably used to a rollercoaster of emotions that would make a Six Flags employee blush. One moment you're riding high on a wave of optimism, the next you're questioning your life choices and considering taking up knitting.
The Never-Ending Quest for a W
Every Cubs fan is on a perpetual quest for the elusive 'W'. It's like searching for the Holy Grail, but with less intrigue and more disappointment. We've seen it all - walk-off home runs that make us question if we're dreaming, and errors so mind-boggling that they make us question the very fabric of reality. But hey, that's baseball, right? Or is it just the Cubs?
Cubs Math: A Field of Dreams (or Nightmares)
Cubs math is a unique form of arithmetic where 2+2 can equal 5 one day and 0 the next. It's a numbers game that even the smartest mathematicians can't crack. You’ll find yourself doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how a team with so much talent can somehow manage to lose to the team with the worst record in the league.
The Curse: Fact or Fiction?
Let's talk about the elephant in the room - the infamous Curse of the Billy Goat. Is it real? Do we secretly want it to be real so we have an excuse for our team's performance? Or is it just a convenient scapegoat for management to hide behind? Who knows! But one thing's for sure, it makes for a good story.
How to Survive Being a Cubs Fan:
- How to manage unrealistic expectations: Lower the bar. Way, way lower.
- How to find humor in defeat: Channel your inner comedian. Trust us, it helps.
- How to avoid becoming a conspiracy theorist: There's only so much you can blame on the umpires.
- How to stay loyal: True fans stick together, even when the team is giving you a heart attack.
- How to prepare for the next season: Stock up on tissues, beer, and pain relievers.
So, there you have it. The Cubs, in all their frustrating, glorious, heartbreaking, and hopeful glory. Here's to another season of nail-biting finishes, questionable decisions, and unwavering support. Go Cubs! Or at least, try to.