Houston: The Arctic Circle, Texas Branch?
Let's Talk About Freezing in Houston: A Hilarious Guide
So, you’re wondering when Houston, Texas, is going to turn into a frozen tundra? Well, grab your parka and let's dive in.
Houston: The Land of Eternal Summer (Mostly)
If you’re expecting a white Christmas in Houston, you might want to reconsider your holiday plans. Houston is more of a “flip-flops in December” kind of place. The city is notorious for its sweltering summers and mild winters. It's like Mother Nature decided to give Houston an exclusive, year-round summer pass.
When Will Houston Freeze Over?
A More Accurate Question Might Be, "When Will Hell Freeze Over?"
Now, there are occasional cold snaps that send Houstonians scrambling for their surprisingly nonexistent winter coats. But let’s be real, these are more like “sweater weather” moments than “ice scraping your windshield” situations. If you're planning your life around a Houston freeze, you might want to find a new hobby.
What to Do When It's (Slightly) Chilly in Houston
- Break out the sweaters: This is a major fashion statement in Houston during winter.
- Start a campfire: In your backyard. For warmth and bragging rights.
- Learn to make chili: Because nothing says "brrr, it's cold" like a bowl of chili.
In Conclusion:
While Houston might experience the occasional cold front, it’s safe to say that bundling up for a polar vortex isn’t a regular occurrence. So, enjoy the sunshine, soak up the heat, and maybe invest in a really good pool.
How-To Questions for Houston's Non-Existent Winter
- How to survive a Houston winter: Layer up with sarcasm.
- How to build a snowman in Houston: Use sand and hope for the best.
- How to ice skate in Houston: Find a really cold shower.
- How to prepare for a Houston blizzard: Stock up on sunscreen and aloe vera.
- How to enjoy winter in Houston: Embrace the heat and pretend it's summer.
