Who Runs This Joint? - The Houston Texans Head Coach Saga
So, you're wondering who's calling the plays (or at least pretending to) for the Houston Texans? Let's dive into the thrilling world of NFL coaching, where the pressure is as high as a Hail Mary pass.
DeMeco Ryans: The New Kid on the Block
As of this writing, the head coach of the Houston Texans is a guy named DeMeco Ryans. Now, you might be thinking, "Who the heck is DeMeco Ryans?" Well, let me tell you, this guy is no slouch. Before he was bossing around grown men in helmets, he was a pretty darn good linebacker himself. He even won a Super Bowl ring! So, he knows a thing or two about football, or so they say.
Ryans took over the reins in 2023, and in his rookie season as a head coach, he managed to lead the Texans to a playoff berth. That's right, a PLAYOFF BERTH! It was like watching a newborn take its first steps - adorable and unexpected.
The Texans: A Team on the Rise?
Now, the Texans have had their fair share of ups and downs over the years. They've had some pretty good players, and some, well, not-so-good players. But with Ryans at the helm, there's a sense of optimism floating around Houston. It's like they're finally starting to figure it out.
Of course, it's still early days, and the Texans have a long way to go before they can claim to be Super Bowl contenders. But hey, who doesn't love a good underdog story?
How to Become an NFL Head Coach (Probably Not)
Okay, so you're probably not going to be the next DeMeco Ryans, but here are a few tips to get you started on your coaching career (or at least impress your friends at the next tailgate party):
- How to study the playbook: Read it cover to cover. Twice. Then pretend you understand it.
- How to motivate your players: Yell really loud and say inspirational things. Like, really inspirational.
- How to call a timeout: Yell "TIMEOUT!" really loud. And wave your arms around like a crazy person.
- How to deal with the media: Lie confidently. Or just say "no comment."
- How to celebrate a win: Do a little dance. Or a lot of dances. Just don't do anything embarrassing.
So there you have it. The Houston Texans have a new head coach, and he seems to be doing a decent job so far. Who knows, maybe they'll be Super Bowl champions one day. But until then, we'll just have to enjoy the ride.