How Many Playoff Wins Do The Houston Texans Have

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Houston Texans: Playoff Win Connoisseurs (or Lack Thereof)

So, you wanna know how many playoff wins the Houston Texans have, huh? Well, buckle up, because this is gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions. Or, more accurately, a slow, steady decline into disappointment.

How Many Playoff Wins Do The Houston Texans Have
How Many Playoff Wins Do The Houston Texans Have

The Texans: A Playoff Underachievers Anonymous Meeting

Let's talk about the Houston Texans, shall we? A team with a fanbase that's probably seen more heartbreaks than a Nicholas Sparks novel. They’ve got a stadium that’s louder than a Taylor Swift concert when they’re winning, and quieter than a library when they’re, well, not.

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Now, when it comes to regular season football, the Texans have had their moments. They've had some pretty decent teams, some standout players, and even a few seasons that gave us hope. But when the playoffs roll around? It’s like they've got a case of the sudden onset of football amnesia.

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The Playoff Win Tally: A Case of the Mondays

Okay, let's cut to the chase. The Houston Texans have a grand total of 5 playoff wins. Five. That’s it. That’s all. You could count that on one hand with fingers to spare.

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To put that into perspective, there are probably more people who’ve won an Oscar than the Texans have playoff wins. It's like they've got a reverse Midas touch – everything they turn into gold in the regular season turns into, well, not gold in the playoffs.

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How to Cope with Being a Texans Fan

If you’re a die-hard Texans fan, we salute your resilience. It takes a special kind of person to endure the ups and downs (mostly downs) of this team. Here are a few tips on how to cope:

  • How to find hope: Lower your expectations. Way, way lower.
  • How to deal with heartbreak: Learn to love the draft. It's your Super Bowl.
  • How to stay positive: Focus on the food. Tailgating is always a win.
  • How to impress your friends: Bet against the Texans. You'll be rich.
  • How to survive: Therapy. Lots of therapy.

So, there you have it. The Houston Texans and their less-than-stellar playoff record. Here’s hoping for a brighter future, but let’s not hold our breath.

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