Severide: The Houdini of Firehouse 51
So, let's talk about the enigma that is Kelly Severide. The man, the myth, the legend (or at least, that's what the writers want us to think). Every season, it’s like playing a never-ending game of "Where's Wally?" but with way more adrenaline and less striped clothing.
Severide: The Vanishing Act
One minute he's battling a five-alarm blaze, looking all heroic and whatnot. The next? Poof! Vanished into thin air, leaving us to wonder if he's gone to fight fires in outer space or something. Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he turned up on Mars, helmet in hand, ready to extinguish a Martian methane fire.
But seriously, is this guy allergic to stability or something? It's like the writers have a personal vendetta against Severide fans. Just when we think he's finally settled down, boom! Another disappearance. It's starting to feel like a recurring joke at this point.
Will Severide Ever Return?
The burning question on everyone's lips is: Will Severide ever come back to stay? Or is he going to keep us on tenterhooks forever? I mean, we get it, suspense is a thing, but can we have a little consistency please? We need some closure, people!
Now, I'm not saying we don't love a good mystery, but there's a fine line between suspense and plain old torture. If they keep this up, we might start a petition demanding a Severide whereabouts update every episode.
How to Handle Severide's Disappearances
- How to accept Severide's absence: Embrace the chaos! Channel your inner firefighter and prepare for anything.
- How to cope with Severide's return: Expect the unexpected. Have a celebratory drink ready, just in case.
- How to survive a Severide-less episode: Find a hobby. Learn a new language. Master the art of binge-watching other shows.
- How to become a Severide conspiracy theorist: Start noticing patterns. Look for hidden messages. Prepare for the truth to blow your mind.
- How to write a fan letter to the writers: Express your feelings calmly and rationally. Or just scream into a pillow. Your choice.