Sharks in the East River: Jaws or Just a Joke?
So, you're thinking about taking a dip in the East River, huh? Well, before you dive in headfirst (or should I say, fin first?), let's talk about the aquatic life you might encounter. Specifically, sharks.
Are There Actually Sharks in the East River?
Short answer: Technically, yes. Long answer: It's complicated. The East River is actually more of a saltwater estuary than a river, which means it's a mix of fresh and saltwater. And guess who loves a good brackish party? Bull sharks. These bad boys are known for their ability to swim far upstream in rivers. So, there's a chance you could share the water with one. But let's be real, the odds of you bumping into a shark in the East River are about as good as winning the lottery while being struck by lightning.
Should You Worry?
Nope, not really. While it's true that sharks exist in the East River, they're more interested in fish than in making a midnight snack out of you. Plus, the East River is, let's just say, not the most inviting swimming spot. You've got to dodge all sorts of things in there besides sharks – from discarded sneakers to the occasional floating rat. So, while a shark attack is technically possible, it's far more likely you'll get a nasty case of swimmer's itch.
So, Can I Swim in the East River?
Well, that's a question for your doctor, not me. But if you're looking for a refreshing swim, there are plenty of other, cleaner options around. The beach, for example? Or maybe a nice, chlorinated pool? Just saying.
How to Spot a Shark (Just Kidding)
- How to spot a shark in the East River: Don't bother. It's easier to find a needle in a haystack.
- How to avoid sharks in the East River: Stay out of the East River. Problem solved.
- How to become a shark expert: Watch "Jaws" repeatedly. You'll be an expert in no time.
- How to make a shark-themed cocktail: Mix blue curaçao with vodka, add a gummy shark for garnish.
- How to survive a shark attack (just in case): Invest in a really good shark repellent. Or, better yet, don't go swimming with sharks.