Abu Dhabi Owns Chicago? Let's Park That Thought for a Second
So, you've heard the rumor, huh? Abu Dhabi, that desert oasis of luxury and skyscrapers, actually owns the Windy City? Well, let's dive into this rumor deeper than a Chicago-style deep dish pizza.
The Great Parking Meter Caper
It's not exactly ownership in the "I-planted-a-flag-and-claimed-it" sense. What actually happened is a bit more... mundane, yet still fascinating. In a desperate bid to solve its budget woes, Chicago decided to sell the rights to collect revenue from its parking meters. And who was the lucky buyer? A group of investors, including some from Abu Dhabi.
Now, this isn't like buying a house. You don't get a key to City Hall or anything. You just get the right to collect money from people who park their cars. It's like winning the lottery, but instead of scratch-off tickets, you're dealing with angry drivers and broken meters.
The Price is Wrong, Bob
The deal was for a whopping $1.15 billion, which sounds like a lot until you realize that’s for a 75-year lease. It's like paying a million bucks for a slightly used car. And then there’s the little detail that parking fees skyrocketed after the deal. So, not only did Chicago get less than it could have, but its citizens ended up paying more. A classic case of "winning" at your own expense.
So, Who's Really in Charge?
While Abu Dhabi and its partners might be raking in the dough from parking meters, they don't call the shots on city policies or who gets to be mayor. Chicago is still very much its own entity, with its own problems and its own charm. It's just that charm comes with a slightly higher price tag now.
How to Understand This Mess
- How to explain it to a five-year-old: Imagine your piggy bank gets stolen, but the thief only gets to take the coins you put in from now on. You still own the piggy bank, but the thief gets richer every time you save.
- How to feel about it: It's complicated. On one hand, it's a bad deal for Chicago. On the other, it's a business deal, and businesses are supposed to make money.
- How to avoid getting a parking ticket: This one's easy: park legally. Or, better yet, take public transportation, ride a bike, or walk.
- How to become a parking meter mogul: You'd need a lot of money and a city willing to sell its parking meters. Good luck with that!
- How to get over it: Focus on the things that make Chicago great: deep dish pizza, hot dogs, and amazing architecture. And maybe, just maybe, dream of a world where parking is free.