Chicago's Bridge Drama: A Tale of Ups and Downs
When Do Those Darn Bridges Actually Go Up?
You’ve been stuck in traffic, staring at that infuriatingly slow bridge, and wondered, “Does this thing ever stop going up?” Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we’re about to dive into the world of Chicago bridge lifts. It’s a saga filled with patience, frustration, and the occasional glimpse of a boat that probably isn’t worth the wait.
Let's get one thing straight: Chicago bridges aren’t just mood swings. They have a schedule. Kind of. It’s more like a suggestion, really. The city’s bridges are like the flaky friend who says they’ll be there at 7 but shows up at 9. Except instead of a friend, it’s a giant metal structure blocking your commute.
The Bridge Lift Blues
Generally speaking, the bridge lift season runs from April to November. Think of it as the boating community's summer vacation. And just like your annoying neighbor who blasts music on weekends, these boats need to get in and out of Lake Michigan. So, up go the bridges!
Now, you might be thinking, "40 times a year? That's not so bad." Well, picture this: you're cruising down the Magnificent Mile, minding your own business, when suddenly, the Michigan Avenue Bridge decides it’s time for a little stretch. And by “little stretch,” I mean a good 10-minute intermission to your day.
How to Survive a Bridge Lift
- Embrace the Unexpected: Chicago bridges are like box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get. So, relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy the show. Or at least try to.
- Learn to Multitask: Stuck in traffic? Perfect time to catch up on podcasts, reply to emails, or practice your meditation. Just don't try to eat soup while the bridge is going up.
- Become a Bridge Lift Enthusiast: Hey, someone’s gotta appreciate the engineering marvel. Find a good spot, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the spectacle. Who knows, maybe you’ll start a bridge lift fan club.
How To... Bridge Lift Edition
- How to predict a bridge lift: Unfortunately, there’s no crystal ball. But checking local news or traffic updates can give you a heads up.
- How to stay calm during a bridge lift: Practice deep breathing, listen to soothing music, or imagine yourself on a tropical vacation.
- How to make the most of a bridge lift: Use the extra time to connect with your passengers, people watch, or simply enjoy the view.
- How to avoid bridge lifts altogether: Take public transportation, walk, bike, or teleport. Just kidding about the last one.
- How to become a bridge lift enthusiast: Start a bridge lift fan page, collect bridge lift memorabilia, or write a symphony inspired by the sound of gears grinding.
Remember, Chicago is a city of surprises, and the bridges are just one of them. So next time you find yourself waiting for that pesky metal behemoth to go down, take a deep breath, and enjoy the ride. Or at least try to.