When Does Houston Texans Play

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When Do the Houston Texans Play? A Guide for the Clueless

So, you're wondering when the Houston Texans grace the gridiron with their, uh, let's say "unique" brand of football? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to dive into the thrilling world of Texans game times.

Are We Talking Preseason or Regular Season?

This is crucial information, my friend. It's like asking if you want a sip of warm milk or a shot of espresso. Totally different ballgame.

  • Preseason: If you're into watching players who might actually be on the team next year, this is your jam. Think of it as a tryout for grown-ups.
  • Regular Season: Now we're talking! This is where the real action is. Unless, of course, the Texans have another disappointing season.

How to Find the Texans Schedule

You'd think in the age of technology, finding a sports schedule would be as easy as ordering pizza. But nope, the NFL loves to make things complicated. Here are your options:

  • The Official Texans Website: This is the most reliable source. Just don't blame me if you get lost in a sea of Texans merchandise.
  • Sports News Websites: ESPN, NFL.com, and your local sports station are good bets. Just be prepared for endless speculation about the Texans' quarterback situation.
  • Your Calendar App: If you're really serious about the Texans, you can input their schedule into your calendar. But let's be honest, you probably won't remember to check it.

Important Dates to Remember

While the entire Texans season is a blur of touchdowns (or lack thereof), there are a few key dates to circle on your calendar:

  • The Opener: This is when the hopes and dreams of Texans fans are born, only to be brutally crushed a few weeks later.
  • Thanksgiving Day: Nothing says "family fun" like watching the Texans get pummeled on national television.
  • The Season Finale: This is either a cause for celebration or a reason to drown your sorrows in queso.

How to Survive a Texans Game

If you're brave enough to attend a Texans game, here are a few tips:

  • Wear Comfortable Shoes: You might be doing a lot of walking, especially if you decide to leave early.
  • Bring Snacks: The stadium food is overpriced and underwhelming.
  • Lower Your Expectations: This is crucial. Don't get your hopes up.

How To Questions

  • How to find Texans game tickets? Ticketmaster, the Texans website, and secondary market sites are your best bets.
  • How to watch Texans games? Check your local TV listings or use a streaming service like NFL Sunday Ticket.
  • How to deal with Texans heartbreak? Therapy, alcohol, or just accept that football is a cruel mistress.
  • How to become a Texans fan? We strongly advise against it.
  • How to pretend to be a Texans fan? Wear red and blue, and avoid talking about football.
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