When Will Houston Drown Again? A Humorous Guide
Houston, Texas: The city where the ground is as wet as a politician's promise. If you’re planning a picnic, a barbecue, or simply stepping outside without an umbrella, you might want to consult a shaman or a seasoned duck. But fear not, dear reader, I'm here to shed some light on Houston's rainy reputation.
Houston: The Land of Liquid Sunshine
They say Houston has two seasons: construction and flooding. Okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but it's not that far off. The city has a love affair with water that would make a mermaid jealous. So, when will the next deluge hit? Well, let's just say that if Noah built another ark, Houston would be on the itinerary.
How to Predict Houston Rain: A Fool's Errand
Predicting rain in Houston is like trying to predict the next reality TV scandal: It's bound to happen, but you’ll never guess when or how. Meteorologists in Houston are probably paid in chocolate and therapy sessions. They've got a harder job than a cat herding pigeons.
Pro Tip: If you see a groundhog, a squirrel, or even a particularly grumpy pigeon looking for higher ground, it might be time to move your valuables upstairs.
Embrace the Rain, Houston Style
Instead of cursing the rain, why not embrace it? After all, Houston's greenery wouldn't be so lush without all that water. Plus, think of all the fun you can have! You can go kayaking down the freeway, fishing in your backyard, or simply enjoy a front-row seat to nature's water park.
Remember: In Houston, it's not raining, it's Houstoning.
FAQ: Rain Edition
How to survive a Houston downpour?
- Invest in a good pair of waterproof boots and a sense of humor.
- Learn how to build an ark (just kidding).
How to dress for Houston weather?
- Layers, layers, layers. You never know when the sun will decide to show up or when the heavens will open.
How to stay sane during a Houston rainstorm?
- Embrace the chaos. Turn on some upbeat music, grab a snack, and enjoy the show.
How to find a rainbow after a Houston storm?
- Look up. They're usually pretty spectacular.
How to appreciate Houston's unique charm?
- Remember, it's not a bug, it's a feature. And that feature is a whole lot of water.