When Will the UFC Come Back to Houston? A Cry for Justice
Houston, we have a problem. Or rather, we have a desire. A burning, insatiable desire to see some good old-fashioned cage fighting in our backyard. The last time the UFC graced us with their presence, I was still promising myself I'd start that diet on Monday. And, well, let's just say Monday never came.
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| When Will Ufc Come To Houston |
The Houstonian's Plea
We're talking about a city that loves its sports. Football, basketball, even baseball – we've got 'em covered. But UFC? That's a whole different level of excitement. The roar of the crowd, the smell of overpriced beer, and the thrill of witnessing human beings engage in controlled violence – it's a Texan's dream, people!
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So, UFC, hear our cry! We're ready to fill up the Toyota Center to the brim. We're ready to wear our favorite fighter's merch with pride. We're ready to argue passionately about who would win in a fight between a grizzly bear and Conor McGregor (spoiler alert: the bear).
Note: Skipping ahead? Don’t miss the middle sections.
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What's the Hold Up?
I've done my own little investigation (which basically involved staring at the UFC website for an unhealthy amount of time), and I've come to a shocking conclusion: there's a UFC conspiracy against Houston. It's the only logical explanation. I mean, have you seen the size of our city? The potential revenue? It's a goldmine, people!
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I propose we start a petition. Or maybe a hunger strike. Or, if we're feeling really serious, we could challenge Dana White to a cage match. Just kidding (kind of). But seriously, UFC, we need you back in H-Town.
Tip: Reading in chunks improves focus.
How to...
- How to survive the wait for the next UFC Houston event? Find a good MMA gym and start training. Or, you know, just watch a lot of UFC fights on TV.
- How to impress your friends with UFC knowledge? Watch every single fight, ever. Or, you know, just pretend to know what you're talking about and hope for the best.
- How to prepare for the next UFC Houston event? Start saving money for tickets, merchandise, and overpriced beer. Also, maybe start training in case you get randomly called up to fight.
- How to increase your chances of getting UFC tickets? Be prepared to camp outside the ticket office, or bribe a scalper with your firstborn child (just kidding about the last one).
- How to cope with the inevitable UFC withdrawal symptoms? Seek professional help. Or, you know, just watch more UFC fights.
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