Squirrels in the Windy City: A Nutty Quest
So, you want a squirrel. A pet squirrel. In Chicago. Let's talk about this.
The Squirrel Situation in Chicago
Now, I’m not a wildlife expert (more of a cat-hair-removal expert), but I can tell you this: squirrels are pretty abundant in Chicago. They're like the cockroaches of the tree world – always there, always busy, and seemingly indestructible. You can't miss 'em. They're those little, bushy-tailed acrobats that spend their days stealing birdseed and doing parkour on power lines.
Where to Buy a Squirrel: The Million-Dollar Question
But, hold your horses (or should I say, hold your acorns?). While squirrels are plentiful, buying one is a whole different ballgame. You can't just waltz into a pet store and ask for a "medium-sized, preferably gray squirrel."
Disclaimer: I've done extensive research (read: Googled it) and found no legitimate, legal way to purchase a squirrel in Chicago.
Why You Probably Shouldn't Buy a Squirrel
Before you start hatching plans to build a squirrel sanctuary in your living room, let's talk about the realities of squirrel ownership. Squirrels are wild animals. They're not cuddly kittens or obedient dogs. They chew, they climb, and they have a penchant for hiding nuts in the most inconvenient places. Plus, there are probably laws against keeping wild animals as pets.
So, What Can You Do?
If you're absolutely smitten with squirrels, here are some squirrel-related activities that won't land you in trouble:
- Squirrel-watching: This is a classic. Grab a park bench, some binoculars, and a bag of peanuts. You'll be amazed at the acrobatics.
- Squirrel photography: Capture the beauty of these little creatures in their natural habitat. You can even start a squirrel Instagram account.
- Squirrel-feeding (responsibly): Offer squirrels some birdseed or nuts, but don't overfeed them.
How to... Squirrel-Related FAQs
- How to attract squirrels to your yard? Plant trees that produce nuts, like oaks and hickories.
- How to squirrel-proof your bird feeders? Use squirrel-baffling feeders or place your feeders out of reach.
- How to deter squirrels from your attic? Seal up any entry points and consider using repellents.
- How to take a good squirrel photo? Use a telephoto lens, be patient, and be ready to capture that perfect moment.
- How to coexist peacefully with squirrels? Enjoy their antics from a distance and respect their space.
Remember, while squirrels can be entertaining to watch, they're best appreciated in the wild. So, let's leave the squirrel buying to the professionals (who, as far as I know, don't exist).