Where to Watch the Kentucky Derby in LA: A Guide for Non-Horse People
So, you’ve somehow ended up with a ticket to a Kentucky Derby party. Maybe it was a pity invite, or perhaps you’re just really good at convincing people you're into horse racing. Either way, you’re in LA, and you need to know where to watch the big race without pretending to know the difference between a jockey and a jockey shorts.
Ditch the Track, Embrace the City
Let’s be honest, you’re in LA. The last thing you want to do is sit in a crowded racetrack. We’ve got better things to do, like people-watching and finding the perfect Instagram spot. So, forget about Santa Anita and focus on these city hotspots:
- Rooftop Bars: The perfect blend of fancy and casual. You can sip on something that doesn’t taste like horse feed while enjoying a view that will make you forget you’re even watching a horse race.
- Fancy Restaurants: If you want to impress someone (or yourself), a fancy restaurant is the way to go. You can pretend to know what you’re talking about while enjoying a delicious meal. Just don’t order anything with horse meat in it.
- Sports Bars: If you’re more of a casual person, a sports bar is a great option. You can watch the race on a big screen, surrounded by people who are just as clueless as you. Plus, there’s usually beer.
What to Wear: Casual Chic or Southern Belle?
The classic Kentucky Derby look involves big hats, fancy dresses, and seersucker suits. But let’s be real, you’re in LA. So, feel free to ditch the traditional attire and opt for something a bit more... you. Here are a few suggestions:
- Casual Chic: Jeans, a cute top, and some stylish sunglasses.
- LA Glam: A flowy dress, heels, and big sunglasses.
- Comfortable Cool: Shorts, a t-shirt, and sneakers.
Remember, the most important thing is to be comfortable. You’ll be sitting for a while, and you don’t want to be fussing with your outfit.
What to Drink: Mint Juleps or Something Else?
The traditional Kentucky Derby drink is the mint julep. But let’s face it, it tastes like grass growing in a bucket of sugar. If you’re not a fan of sweet drinks, there are plenty of other options:
- Champagne: It’s fancy and bubbly, and it goes with everything.
- Margaritas: A classic LA drink that’s perfect for any occasion.
- Bloody Marys: A spicy and savory option that will wake you up.
How to Survive the Kentucky Derby Party
- Learn the Basics: Know who the favorites are and what the big deal is about the "Run for the Roses."
- Find a Drinking Buddy: Someone to share your confusion with.
- Don’t Bet: Unless you know what you’re doing, it’s probably best to stay away from the betting.
- Enjoy the Party: At the end of the day, it’s about having fun.
How To...
- How to pretend to know about horse racing: Just nod and say things like "I like the look of that horse" or "Did you see that long shot?"
- How to order a drink: Point at something on the menu and say "I’ll have one of those."
- How to survive small talk: Ask the other person about their outfit or their job.
- How to leave gracefully: Just say you have to use the restroom and then slip away.
- How to have fun: Relax, enjoy the atmosphere, and don’t take it too seriously.