Why Does Everyone Hate the Houston Astros? A Deep Dive into Baseball's Biggest Bad Guys
Let's be honest, folks. The Houston Astros are about as popular in baseball as a case of poison ivy at a nudist colony. You'd think a team that consistently makes it to the playoffs and wins championships would be beloved, right? Wrong. So, what gives? Let’s break down this odiferous situation.
The Asterisk of Infamy
Now, I'm not one to throw shade, but the ahem incident involving trash cans and sign-stealing did slightly tarnish the Astros' reputation. It's like finding out your favorite celebrity is actually a lizard person. Disappointing, right? Sure, other teams might have been up to some shenanigans too, but the Astros were the ones caught with their hand in the cookie jar, or, more accurately, their ear pressed to a trash can.
Beyond the Trash Cans
But it's not just the cheating scandal that has fans up in arms. There's something about the Astros that rubs people the wrong way. Is it their smug attitude? Their uncanny ability to win close games? Or maybe it's just that they’re really, really good at baseball? Whatever it is, the hate is real.
It's like they're the Regina George of baseball. You can't help but be fascinated by their awfulness, but you also want to throw a pie in their face. And let's be honest, every time they lose a game, it feels like a small victory for humanity.
How to Deal with Astros Hatred
If you're a die-hard Astros fan, I commend your bravery. You're like a vegan at a steakhouse. But if you're a neutral observer or, let's be real, a fan of any other team, here are a few tips on how to cope:
- Embrace the drama: The Astros are like a reality TV show. There's always something going on.
- Find solace in other teams: There are plenty of other great teams to root for.
- Learn to laugh: At the end of the day, it's just a game.
How To...
- How to survive an Astros game: Bring earplugs, sunglasses, and a strong drink.
- How to explain the Astros to your kids: "Once upon a time, there was a team that cheated. The end."
- How to become an Astros fan: Seek professional help.
- How to bet against the Astros: Consult a gambling expert.
- How to forgive the Astros: Time, therapy, and a really good reason.