Severide: The Houdini of Firehouses
So, let’s talk about Kelly Severide, the human embodiment of a rollercoaster. One minute he’s saving kittens from trees, the next he’s mysteriously disappearing to pursue arson investigations in the middle of nowhere. It's like the writers have a personal vendetta against our favorite firefighter and his loving wife, Stella Kidd.
The Great Severide Disappearances
Severide’s ability to vanish into thin air is nothing short of impressive. It’s like he's got a portal to another dimension hidden in his firetruck. One day he's there, all chiseled jaw and smoldering eyes, the next? Poof! Gone. Off to chase some arsonist who’s probably hiding in a cardboard box somewhere in Arizona.
We get it, Severide. You love your job. You're passionate about catching bad guys. But can you maybe give us a heads up next time? Stella deserves better than constant heart palpitations. And let's not forget about poor Joe Cruz, who always ends up holding down the fort while you're off gallivanting.
Is There a Severide Replacement Plan?
Seriously though, what’s the plan here? Are we supposed to believe that the Chicago Firehouse can function without its resident hothead and part-time detective? I mean, who else is going to rescue people from burning buildings while looking effortlessly cool?
I'm starting to think the writers are secretly planning a Severide spin-off. Like, a show called "Severide: The Arson Avenger." It would be a hit! We could watch him solve crimes, build bonfires, and occasionally save a puppy. Who wouldn't tune in for that?
How to Cope With Severide's Absence
Look, we love Severide as much as the next person. But his disappearing acts are starting to take a toll. Here are a few tips to help you cope:
- How to avoid Severide withdrawal symptoms: Stock up on firefighter calendars, watch old episodes, and maybe invest in a Severide-lookalike body pillow.
- How to survive without Severide’s one-liners: Learn to appreciate the comedic talents of other characters. It's a tough gig, but someone's gotta do it.
- How to prepare for Severide's inevitable return: Clear your schedule, stock the fridge with beer, and practice your "welcome back" speech.
In the meantime, let's just hope that Severide comes back soon, and that this time, he sticks around for longer than a commercial break.
FAQ
- How to stop worrying about Severide? Remind yourself that he's a professional and knows what he's doing. Plus, Stella is a badass and can handle anything.
- How to avoid getting jealous of Stella? Focus on your own life and relationships. And remember, you can't have everything.
- How to survive without Severide's heroic rescues? Find other shows to watch. There are plenty of brave firefighters out there.
- How to prepare for Severide's eventual return? Stock up on snacks, drinks, and tissues. You're going to need them.
- How to cope with the inevitable heartbreak when Severide leaves again? Repeat after me: "It's just a TV show."