The Great Chicago East Side Enigma
So, you've heard the rumor, right? That there's no East Side to Chicago. A bold claim, you might say, like saying there's no pizza in Italy or that cats don't like chasing laser pointers. But let's dive into this mystery deeper than a deep-dish pizza.
The Lake Effect
First off, let’s talk geography. Because, you know, it’s always fun to sound smart. Chicago, this magnificent city of wind and deep-dish, is nestled on the shores of Lake Michigan. It's like the city decided to have a giant water cooler. Problem is, water coolers tend to block things. In this case, the East Side.
So, technically, there is an East Side to Chicago. It's just, uh, underwater. It's like trying to find the North Pole by swimming due north. You can keep going, but you'll eventually hit a big, cold wall.
East Side or South Side?
Now, here’s where things get a little murky. There’s a neighborhood in Chicago called East Side. But don’t get too excited, it’s more like the forgotten cousin of the city. It's down there in the southeast corner, kind of like the spare room you only remember exists when you need to store old Christmas decorations.
So, when people talk about the East Side of Chicago, they’re usually referring to the South Side. It's like calling your little brother by your big brother's name. It’s confusing, and sometimes leads to awkward misunderstandings.
The Myth Lives On
Despite all the geographical evidence, the myth of the non-existent East Side persists. It's like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster - everyone's heard of it, but no one's actually seen it. Maybe it's a clever marketing ploy to make the other sides of Chicago seem more exclusive. Or perhaps it's just a really good riddle to stump tourists.
Whatever the reason, the mystery of the missing East Side of Chicago will continue to baffle and intrigue for years to come. Unless, of course, someone invents underwater real estate. Then we might have a whole new problem.
How to...
- How to avoid looking like a fool when someone mentions the East Side of Chicago: Simply reply, "Ah, you mean the South Side?" and casually change the subject to deep-dish pizza.
- How to impress your friends with your Chicago geography knowledge: Drop the fact that there is technically an East Side, but it's underwater. Be prepared for blank stares.
- How to find the East Side of Chicago (if you're feeling adventurous): Grab a wetsuit, some scuba gear, and a really good map. Good luck!
- How to order a Chicago-style hot dog: Don't put ketchup on it. Trust us.
- How to survive a Chicago winter: Layers, friends. Lots of layers.