Conquering the Concrete Jungle: A Hilariously Practical Guide to Landing a Job in London
Ah, London! The city of Big Ben, fish and chips, and...unemployment queues longer than the River Thames? Not necessarily! While finding a job in this bustling metropolis can feel like wrangling pigeons in Trafalgar Square, fear not, intrepid job seeker! This guide will equip you with the cunning of a fox, the charm of a cockney geezer, and the tenacity of a bulldog with a bone (just, you know, a metaphorical bone - health and safety, and all that).
Step 1: Craft a Stellar CV (That Doesn't Mention Your Brief Stint as a Mime)
Tip: Check back if you skimmed too fast.
- Ditch the Comic Sans, folks. This ain't a birthday card to your nan.
- Action verbs are your best friend. Replaced "responsible for" with "spearheaded" or "pioneered." You didn't just answer phones, you were the "customer liaison extraordinaire."
- Tailor it to the job! Don't be that person who applies for graphic designer positions with a CV highlighting their mad latte art skills (unless, perhaps, you're applying to be a latte artist).
Note: Skipping ahead? Don’t miss the middle sections.
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| How To Find A Job In London |
Step 2: Become a Web-Crawling Wizard
QuickTip: Break reading into digestible chunks.
- Job boards are your oyster! Indeed, Reed, Totaljobs - cast your net far and wide. But remember, quality over quantity. Don't apply for everything from dog walker to CEO (unless you're a particularly talented dog).
- LinkedIn ain't just for creepy connection requests from old school teachers. Polish your profile, join industry groups, and connect with recruiters. You never know who might have the golden job lead.
- Social media stalking (in a professional way, of course) can be surprisingly useful. Follow your dream companies and see what kind of positions they're advertising.
Step 3: Network Like a Chatty Norman at a Pub Quiz
Tip: Slow down when you hit important details.
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- Reach out to your contacts! You never know who might have an "in" at a great company. A seemingly random email to your mate's cousin's brother-in-law could land you an interview.
- Attend industry events. Mingle with the professionals, make connections, and subtly (or not so subtly) hand out your business card (carrier pigeons are optional, but highly discouraged on the London Underground).
Step 4: The Interview: Prepare to Slay Like James Bond (Without the Explosions)
- Research the company! Don't walk in there asking if they make tea a national treasure (it is, by the way).
- Practice your interview skills. Answer common questions like "What's your biggest weakness?" with something witty that doesn't actually reveal your biggest weakness (like a crippling fear of pigeons...we all have them).
- Dress to impress, but be comfortable. You don't want to be fidgeting with your tie the whole time because you look like you're auditioning for a period drama.
Bonus Tip: Be patient and persistent! Finding a job in London might not happen overnight. But with enough hustle and a sprinkle of this guide's magic, you'll be navigating the London job market like a black cab on a mission.
FAQ: How to Find a Job in London - Quick Answers
- How to write a killer CV? Action verbs, tailoring, ditch the Comic Sans (seriously).
- Where to find job postings? Job boards (Indeed, Reed, etc.), LinkedIn, company websites.
- How to network effectively? Reach out to contacts, attend industry events, don't be afraid to chat with people.
- How to prepare for an interview? Research, practice common questions, dress appropriately (and comfortably).
- How long will it take to find a job? Be patient, persistence pays off!
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