The ID Struggle is Real: Your Hilarious Guide to Getting Photo ID in Melbourne
Let's face it, Melbourne: sometimes life throws a curveball, and that curveball requires a photo ID. Maybe you want to finally score a cheeky vino at that fancy new bar, or perhaps the bouncer at your favourite karaoke joint has developed a sudden case of amnesia about your age-defying good looks. Whatever the reason, the quest for photo ID can feel as daunting as navigating rush hour on Bourke St. But fear not, weary traveller! This guide will be your hilarious compass on the path to ID enlightenment.
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| How To Get Photo Id In Melbourne |
Step 1: Accepting Your Fate (and Finding the Form)
The first hurdle? Accepting that yes, you actually do need this little plastic rectangle to prove you're old enough to buy a pack of gum (disclaimer: not actually true, but you get the idea). Now that you've embraced the inevitable, it's time to find the application form. Here are your options, all equally thrilling:
- VicRoads: These folks are in charge of your driver's license, so it makes sense they'd have the photo ID application form too. Just picture yourself explaining to your grandma why you need a form...for reasons.
- Australia Post: Because who doesn't love the delightful experience of standing in line next to a person returning a slightly-used potato peeler?
- Selected Pharmacies: Yes, you read that right. Apparently, the pharmacist can now verify you're not a vampire...or maybe they just have a thing for laminated faces?
Pro Tip: Grab a highlighter while you're at it. Trust us, future you will thank you when it comes to deciphering all the official jargon.
QuickTip: Repeat difficult lines until they’re clear.
Step 2: The ID Shuffle (This is Where it Gets Interesting)
Now for the fun part: proving you're actually a real person. You'll need two original documents as proof of your identity and residency. Think birth certificate, passport, bank statement with your actual address on it (gasp!), the possibilities are endless (or at least moderately numerous).
Here's where things get interesting: You'll need someone you've known for AT LEAST A YEAR to witness your application. This could be your best friend who remembers the questionable fashion choices of your teenage years, or your neighbour who always seems vaguely suspicious of your comings and goings (perfect!).
QuickTip: Scan quickly, then go deeper where needed.
Remember: Perjury is a serious offence, so don't try to bribe your goldfish to be your witness. They'll probably just judge you silently anyway.
Step 3: The Photo Finish (Because Let's Be Honest, DMV Photos Are Hilarious)
This is it, the moment of truth. Time to get your photo taken! Here are your choices:
Tip: Break it down — section by section.
- Approved Photo Location: These could be VicRoads offices, post offices, or even some camera stores. Just picture a delightful assortment of grumpy teenagers, confused tourists, and overly enthusiastic grandparents all vying for their moment in photo ID glory.
- Get Creative (with Caution): If you're feeling adventurous, you can take your own digital photo, but make sure it meets all the strict government guidelines (think: no funny hats, no blurry selfies). We wouldn't want your ID to look like a rejected Tinder profile pic, would we?
Remember: This photo will likely follow you for years to come. Embrace the awkwardness, it'll make a great story someday!
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Step 4: The Waiting Game (because Patience is a Virtue...Especially When Dealing With Bureaucracy)
You've conquered the forms, the witnesses, and the photo. Now comes the waiting game. Crack open a beverage of your choice (non-alcoholic, of course, unless you already have ID), because it can take anywhere from 3-4 weeks for your shiny new ID to arrive.
Tip: Slow down when you hit important details.
Pro Tip: Channel your inner sloth and use this time to perfect your best "borrow my ID?" face. You'll thank us later.
FAQ: Your Burning Photo ID Questions Answered (in 5 Easy Steps)
How to Avoid Looking Like a Ditto in My Photo ID?
- Dress neatly and avoid busy patterns.
- Take off hats and sunglasses (sorry, channeling your inner rockstar will have to wait).
- Make sure your hair isn't obscuring your face.
- Relax your shoulders and smile naturally (or at least try not to grimace).
How Much Does This Photo ID Shenanigan Cost?
A mere $10! A small price to pay for the privilege of finally proving you're an adult (or at least old enough to buy that fancy cheese you've been eyeing).
**How Long
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