So, You Wanna Drive to Alaska, Eh? Buckle Up, Buttercup!
Let's face it, flying is so last season. Don't get me wrong, airplanes are great for avoiding rogue squirrels with jetpacks mid-flight, but where's the adventure in that? If you're the kind of traveler who craves the open road, the wind in your hair (or the unfortunate incident where your toupee gets sucked out the window), then a road trip to Alaska might be your ultimate wanderlust cure.
But before you hit the gas and unleash your inner Lewis and Clark (minus the whole fur-trading-Native-American-displacement thing), you might be wondering: just how long does this epic odyssey take?
The Short Answer (Spoiler Alert: It's Not Short)
Let's just cut to the chase: strapping yourself into a car and aiming it north for the Land of the Midnight Sun is a commitment. We're talking over 2,000 miles (depending on your route) and a good 60-ish hours of driving time. Think of it as a marathon, but instead of running really fast for a short time, you're slowly hurtling yourself towards moose territory at a leisurely 70 mph.
But wait! There's more!
The Not-So-Short Answer (Because Seriously, It's a Long Drive)
That 60-hour estimate is assuming you drive with the focus of a laser and the bladder capacity of a camel. Let's be real, you're gonna need to stop for gas, food that isn't lukewarm beef jerky, and those aforementioned restroom breaks. Factor in sightseeing (because, hello, Canada!), detours to avoid surprise Sasquatch sightings, and the inevitable singalongs to cheesy 80s road trip anthems, and we're looking at more like a 7-10 day adventure.
Think of it as a journey, not a race. Embrace the open road, the questionable gas station snacks, and the quality time spent bonding with your travel companions over the AUX cord (dibs on blasting "Carry On Wayward Son" first!).
Pro Tips for Your Alaskan Odyssey (Because Nobody Wants a Hangry Driver)
- Map your route: Unless you're a pioneer with a secret compass made of squirrel bones, plotting your course beforehand is a good idea.
- Pack for all seasons: Alaska's a big state, and the weather can change faster than your grandma's mood swings after bingo night. Be prepared for everything from scorching sunshine to hail the size of softballs.
- Snacks are your friends: Avoid hangry meltdowns by packing plenty of road trip essentials: beef jerky, questionable gas station candy, and enough caffeine to jumpstart a small nation.
- Download audiobooks or podcasts: Because even the most epic landscape gets boring after 12 hours.
How To... FAQs for the Aspiring Alaskan Road Tripper
How to avoid getting eaten by a bear? The good news is, bears are more scared of you than you are of them. Make noise while hiking, keep your food secure, and avoid looking like a delicious walking picnic basket.
How to pack for all types of weather? Layers are your friend! Pack thermals, rain gear, and something for unexpected sunshine.
How to find the best roadside attractions? Do a little research beforehand and embrace the unexpected. Who knows, you might stumble upon the world's largest ball of twine or a museum dedicated to the history of the spork.
How much money should I budget? Gas, food, and lodging can add up. Factor in wear-and-tear on your car and your sanity, and plan accordingly.
How do I convince my significant other that this is a good idea? Bribery with chocolate and promises of epic Instagram photos usually do the trick. Just be prepared to share the aux cord.
So, are you ready to answer the call of the wild (or at least a decent cup of coffee at a Tim Horton's)? Alaska awaits! Just remember, it's not about the destination, it's about the questionable gas station burritos you eat along the way.
