Walking to LA: A Fool's Errand or a Hero's Journey?
So, you're thinking of walking to Los Angeles. Are you really sure about this? I mean, have you considered the fact that you might just end up in Albuquerque and decide to open a taco stand? Or maybe you'll become a zen master on the side of the road, contemplating the meaning of life and the alarmingly high price of gas.
The Math is Murder
Let’s do some quick math, shall we? Assuming you're a superhuman with iron legs and a bladder of steel, and you can manage a brisk 3 miles per hour (which is generous, considering you'll probably be limping by mile 10), it'll take you roughly 2,765 hours to walk to LA. That's about 115 days, or almost four months.
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
You’ll probably encounter some interesting characters on your journey. Like that guy who insists on telling you his life story every 5 miles. Or the dog that joins you for 200 miles before mysteriously disappearing. And let's not forget the wildlife. Raccoons, snakes, and maybe even a Sasquatch or two. Your call.
But hey, if you're dead set on this walking adventure, here are a few tips:
- Train, train, train: Start with short walks and gradually increase the distance. You'll need those calves of steel.
- Pack smart: You'll need more than just a water bottle and a granola bar. Think sunscreen, blister plasters, and a good book for those long, lonely nights.
- Embrace the boredom: There will be a lot of it. Bring podcasts, audiobooks, or learn a new language.
- Find a walking buddy: Someone to share the burden, the blisters, and the questionable hygiene.
- Don't forget your sense of humor: Because things will inevitably go wrong, and laughter is the best medicine.
How to...
- How to prepare for a long walk? Start with short distances, gradually increasing the duration. Invest in comfortable shoes and clothes.
- How to stay entertained while walking? Listen to podcasts, audiobooks, or music. Learn a new language or skill.
- How to deal with blisters? Prevent them by wearing proper footwear and socks. If you get blisters, keep the area clean and dry, and use a blister pad.
- How to stay safe while walking alone? Stick to well-lit areas, inform someone of your route, and carry a phone.
- How to make a long walk enjoyable? Find a walking buddy, bring snacks and water, and appreciate the scenery.
Remember, walking to LA is a marathon, not a sprint. Good luck, and may the road rise to meet you!