The Great Portland Snowpocalypse of... Nevermind, It's Just July
Ah, Portland. The city of roses, rain, and... well, not exactly known for snowmageddons. But hey, a little curiosity never hurt anyone, especially when it comes to the weather in this wacky world. So, you're wondering, "How many inches of snow are we drowning in today?" Buckle up, buttercup, because the answer might shock you (or not, because it's July).
Hold Your Shovels, Folks, It's a Sunny Snoozefest
That's right, folks. There is precisely zero inches of snow blanketing the streets of Portland today. Shocking, I know. I pictured you all huddled by the fireplace, sipping cocoa, and reminiscing about the blizzard of '24... except it's July, and the only blizzard you're likely to encounter is at the local Dairy Queen.
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But Wait, There's More (Weather-Related Puns?)
Now, before you storm the comments section with cries of "fake news," let's address the outliers. Maybe you heard a rumor, a whisper on the wind, a rogue snowflake that landed on your nose and you went full-blown winter warrior. Fear not, intrepid explorer! The National Weather Service assured us that Portland is firmly in the "sunny and delightful" zone, with no chance of a surprise snowstorm.
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| How Many Inches Of Snow In Portland Today |
"But I Saw a Flurry on Facebook!"
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Ah, the wonders of the internet. Look, unless it's coming from a reputable weather source, take those Facebook flurries with a grain of salt (or a sprinkle of doughnut holes, because it's still July, remember?).
FAQ: How to Prepare for the Non-Existent Portland Snowpocalypse
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- How to build a snowman out of hopes and dreams? Easy! Gather your best intentions, a positive attitude, and maybe a bag of marshmallows (for snacking, not snowman building).
- How to channel your inner snow bunny? Hit the slopes... of the ice cream aisle! They may not be made of snow, but those mountains of mint chocolate chip are pretty darn delightful.
- How to have a snowball fight? Use crumpled up socks or Nerf darts. Just remember, aim low (and maybe avoid throwing things at grandma).
- How to stay cool when there's no snow to keep things frosty? Hit the beach, crank up the AC, or invest in a giant inflatable pool float.
- How to find out the real forecast? Check with a trusted weather source, like the National Weather Service or reputable news outlets.
So there you have it, folks! No snowpocalypse in Portland today, just another sunny day in paradise. Now get out there and enjoy the weather (and maybe grab a Blizzard at Dairy Queen, because hey, why not?).
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