So You Think You Can Retrograde? How to Crack the Code to Denver's Hidden Cocktail Gem
Ah, Retrograde. The speakeasy shrouded in mystery, whispered about in hushed tones between fancy ice cream cones (more on that later). A place where the cocktails are out-of-this-world and the ambience is, well, let's just say they haven't heard of disco balls in this time warp. But fear not, intrepid adventurer! Cracking the code of Retrograde isn't rocket science (though they probably do have a stellar astronaut martini). Here's your guide to navigating this cosmic journey, all without needing a time machine (although a DeLorean wouldn't hurt).
 |
| How To Get Into Retrograde Denver |
Mission: Impenetrable Ice Cream? Fear Not!
First things first, Retrograde isn't exactly flashing neon signs. You'll find yourself staring down the innocent facade of a perfectly delightful ice cream shop – Frozen Matter, to be precise. Don't be fooled by the promise of waffle cones and rainbow sprinkles. Your true destination lies beyond the realm of the mundane.
Key takeaway: Resist the urge to indulge in a pre-game scoop (unless it's Dutch chocolate chip, that stuff's legendary).
Operation: Freezer Fake-Out
This is where things get interesting. Look for a seemingly ordinary freezer door nestled amongst the ice cream tubs. Here's the twist: it's not a freezer at all! But don't just yank it open and yell "Shazam!" There's a secret handshake involved...well, not exactly a handshake, but...
Reminder: Take a short break if the post feels long.
Pro-Tip: Flick the light switch next to the door. Patience, my friend, patience. A friendly face from another dimension (or at least the back room) will appear to grant you access.
Welcome to the Twilight Zone (But with Better Drinks)
Congratulations, you've made it! Prepare to be transported to a bygone era (think Mad Men with a dash of space opera). The bartenders are mixologists with a Ph.D. in the peculiar, and the drinks are guaranteed to tantalize your taste buds and possibly make you question the very fabric of reality.
Dress code: Think "sharp with a hint of mystery." No flip-flops or neon workout gear (unless you're channeling a particularly flamboyant astronaut).
Tip: Rest your eyes, then continue.
Word to the wise: These concoctions are potent. Pace yourself, space traveler. You wouldn't want to end up stuck in a time warp with a hangover.
How To Retrograde: Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How much does it cost to get in?
There's no cover charge, but the drinks are on the pricier side. Think "investment in a stellar experience."
Tip: Check back if you skimmed too fast.
 |
Q: What's the dress code?
Sharp and stylish. Think you could snag a drink with Don Draper? Then you're good to go.
Q: Do I need a reservation?
Tip: Read once for gist, twice for details.
Nope, but it gets busy, so be prepared to wait (or distract yourself with some pre-game Dutch chocolate chip).
Q: Is there parking?
Street parking can be tricky, so consider using a rideshare app or hailing a cab (just don't ask them to take you to a secret speakeasy hidden in an ice cream shop).
Q: What if I don't like fancy cocktails?
Retrograde might not be your jam then, but there are plenty of fantastic bars in Denver to explore. Just don't tell them I sent you .
 |
