How to Watch the Houston Texans: A Survival Guide for the Desperate Fan
So, you're a Houston Texans fan, huh? Well, first off, I commend your bravery. It's like being a fan of the Cleveland Browns, but with less snow and more humidity. But fear not, fellow Texan enthusiast, I'm here to guide you through the treacherous waters of watching your beloved team.
Option 1: The Traditionalist Approach (For Those Who Enjoy Pain)
If you're a masochist who enjoys the thrill of watching your heart get repeatedly broken, then this option is for you. All you need is a TV, a cable subscription, and a strong constitution. Tune in to your local channel, grab a beer (or a therapist, whatever floats your boat), and prepare for the emotional rollercoaster. Just remember, it's okay to cry. We've all been there.
Option 2: Cut the Cord and Embrace the Digital Age
Tired of paying an arm and a leg for cable? Join the club! There are plenty of streaming services out there that offer NFL games. Just be prepared to juggle multiple subscriptions and deal with buffering issues. Hey, at least you'll be saving money, right?
Option 3: The "I'm So Desperate I'll Watch It Anywhere" Option
If you're willing to go to extreme measures, there are always shady websites and apps that claim to stream games for free. Just be careful, because these services are often illegal and can expose you to malware. It's like playing Russian roulette with your computer.
Important Note: The Power of Hope
Remember, even the darkest clouds have a silver lining. The Texans might not be winning every game (okay, let's be honest, they probably won't be winning many games), but there's always hope for the future. Maybe they'll draft a quarterback who can actually throw a football. Or maybe a meteor will strike the Earth and obliterate all the other NFL teams. Hey, a girl can dream!
How to... Questions
- How to survive a Texans loss? Find a supportive friend, order pizza, and binge-watch a good show.
- How to avoid getting into arguments with other fans? Mute the TV, or just pretend to be asleep.
- How to find hope in the darkest of times? Remember that even the worst teams eventually get better. Or, you know, start rooting for another team.
- How to prepare for the draft? Stock up on caffeine and snacks, because you'll be up all night.
- How to maintain your sanity as a Texans fan? Lower your expectations. A lot.