Don't Trash Talk Your Trash Can! How to Score a New Garbage Bin in Detroit (Because Let's Be Honest, That Old One is Rough)
Let's face it, Detroiters, our garbage bins have seen better days. They've bravely battled overflowing diapers, rogue squirrels with a taste for takeout containers, and who knows what else lurks in the shadowy depths. But fear not, fellow waste warriors! Upgrading your bin to a shiny new champ is easier than dodging a rogue rogue squirrel on a skateboard (hey, it's Detroit, anything is possible).
Step 1: Identify Your Trash Titan (a.k.a. Who Picks Up Your Garbage)
Hold on to your hats (or, more likely, your slightly-too-full grocery bags), because Detroit has a split personality when it comes to trash collection. East of Woodward Ave. and South of I-94? You're in GFL territory, my friend. West of Woodward and North of I-94? Then high five Advanced Disposal, your new best waste-wrangling buddy.
Tip: Scroll slowly when the content gets detailed.
Step 2: Unleash Your Inner Phone Warrior (a.k.a. Make the Call)
Now that you know who your trash tango partner is, here's the nitty-gritty:
Tip: Keep your attention on the main thread.
- GFL: Unfortunately, GFL doesn't offer online requests for new bins at this time. So, grab your phone and dial their mighty number: (313) 965-4820.
- Advanced Disposal: These tech-savvy trash tamers allow you to request a replacement bin online! Just head over to their website (or, you know, ask Siri for it) and fill out the form. But wait, there's more! You can also reach their customer service representatives at the equally impressive (and easy to remember) number: (844) 2-DETROIT (233-8764).
Step 3: Prepare for Greatness (a.k.a. There Might Be a Fee)
 |
While a brand new bin sounds like a free win, there might be a small fee involved. Don't fret, it's likely not enough to break the bank (and definitely less than that time you accidentally bought gourmet cat food).
Tip: Reread key phrases to strengthen memory.
- GFL: Check with their customer service department for any applicable fees.
- Advanced Disposal: There's a one-time fee of $20 to get your shiny new bin delivered.
Now Go Forth and Conquer Your Curb Appeal (a.k.a. Show Off That New Bin)
With your new garbage bin in tow, you're ready to tackle trash day like a champ. Remember, a spiffy bin reflects well on the whole neighborhood (except for maybe that guy with the overflowing recycling bin full of mysterious liquids... but that's a story for another day).
QuickTip: Read actively, not passively.
 |
| How To Get A New Garbage Bin Detroit |
Bonus Round: How To
- How to find out my trash collection day? Head over to the City of Detroit's website and type in your address. It's easier than finding a decent parking spot downtown.
- How to dispose of hazardous waste? Don't put that old paint can in your brand new bin! Detroit has a Household Hazardous Waste Collection Facility. A quick Google search will point you in the right direction.
- How to recycle properly? Recycling isn't rocket science, but there are some key things to know. The City of Detroit has a handy dandy guide to make sure you're recycling right.
- How to avoid rogue squirrels? This one might be a stretch, but try keeping your bin secure with a bungee cord or invest in a squirrel-proof lid (they exist, we swear!).
- How to convince my neighbor to clean up their overflowing nightmare of a bin? That, my friend, is a whole other battle. Maybe start with a friendly conversation and a can of air freshener?
 |
