Is it Kickoff Time Yet? A Texans Fan's Guide to Weekend Woes
So, you're wondering when the Houston Texans are gracing us with their presence on the gridiron this weekend? Well, buckle up, buttercup, because this is going to be a wild ride. Let's dive into the thrilling world of Texans football, shall we?
Texans Time: A Concept as Elusive as a Fumble Recovery
Now, if you're new to the world of Texans football, let me prepare you for a mind-bending experience. Texans time is not like regular time. It's more like quantum physics – it exists in multiple states at once. It could be 12pm, it could be 3pm, heck, it could even be Monday morning (we’ve seen stranger things).
Pro Tip: Set multiple alarms, consult a shaman, and have a backup plan for your Sunday.
Where to Find the Sacred Schedule
If you're brave enough to face the uncertainty, you can find the Texans' schedule on their official website. It's like searching for the Holy Grail, but with less adventure and more eye-rolling.
But wait, there's more! Sports news outlets, your favorite sports app, and even your neighbor's pet parrot might have a clue. Just be prepared for conflicting information.
How to Survive a Texans Game
- Hydration: Essential for dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions.
- Snacks: Because football is always better with food.
- A Strong Stomach: For those unexpected plot twists.
- A Sense of Humor: Because laughing at the absurdity is the only way to cope.
How-To Guide for the Desperate Texans Fan
How to find the exact game time: Check the Texans' official website or a reliable sports news source closer to the game day.How to prepare for a Texans game: Stock up on snacks, drinks, and patience.How to stay sane during a Texans game: Focus on the commercials, enjoy the halftime show, or pretend you're watching a different sport.How to avoid disappointment after a Texans game: Lower your expectations (way, way down).How to remain a Texans fan: Find a therapist who specializes in sports trauma.
